Pop Reports: Twitter is to 2009 what YouTube was to 2005 — an Internet game-changer and a way for celebrities to take out the middle-man and go straight to their fan base. Who doesn’t love a good celebrity tweet every now and again? It makes them seem so human like, ‘Hey, I’m part of their life!’ But Twitter should be a privilege, not a right … and frankly, we think there should be some sort of celebrity Twitter police with the power to revoke the accounts of some celebs.
Al Roker: So America’s Weather Man takes to the newest communication form to…. (wait for it) provide straight-up weather forecasts. If I want weather reports, I’ll go check out Paris Hilton’s Twitter account thank you. Give us some of your soul, Mr. Roker — in tiny character bits. I want to know about Matt Lauer’s morning breath or what you think about Meredith’s outfit or even a little talk about that muffin on the service table that you’re dying to throw down
Britney Spears: You get about as much of Britney’s voice in these Tweets as you get of her real voice at one of her lip-synced concerts these days. Most tweets are pushing products or thanking Virgin for the cut-rate flights from Australia with exclamation points to give the illusion of pop-star pep. We wanna hear Britney tweet about her everyday life and her boo-boos!
William Shatner: One of the great comic geniuses of our time and yet this Twitter page reads like he’s still suffering from that Spock mind-meld. A recent Tweet concerned a release from his production company. I’d rather have one of those bugs crawl in my ear and eat my brains. All of them signed, “My best, Bill.” Put your phaser on fun, Mr. Shatner.
Spencer Pratt: The man who views himself as the ultimate PR person clearly sees Twitter as another way to try to make America digest his beautiful wife as a pop star. It’s not going down easy. At least Charles Foster Kane had a certain style! These are the Twitter equivalent to a Heidi Montag infomercial except the odd breather … like the occasional fantastic outburst against Al Roker (and shout-outs to Popeater!). That was Hall of Fame Twitter material … just cut back on the self-promo stuff.
Paris Hilton: Perhaps that bored look on her face comes from reading her own Twitter-page, which is a laundry list of her day. There’s a lot of attention to the DVDs she is watching in bed, which is interesting but ultimately tiresome. And she’s quite the pet adoption pusher. She’d never make ‘It Girl’ status on this forum, except for the the odd request for Paris-only situation-help (some dude spilled a drink on her blackberry at a party, what should she do?). Now that’s hot!
Tila Tequila: The reality star has an impressive 27.4 tweets a day. This is because 26 are all hyping up the one interesting tweet or pushing her dating website. There’s more padding in her Twitter page than in her bathing suits. And please, in the world of skin, the tease is everything so when all else fails, rest assured she’ll be tweeting near-nude pictures of herself. But do we really want to see that?
Kim Kardashian: She’s not the worst Tweeter of all time, and possibly not even the worst Kardashian (there are no faves here), but according to legit sources, the reality star can pull up to $10,000 per tweet. No joke. So, if we’re going to eat this stuff, it might as well taste good. Like maybe a delicious Carl’s Jr burger or salad. Did I just say that? Wow, she is good.
Reba McEntire: When Reba told me via Twitter to pray for Miley Cyrus after the crew’s bus crash, I was down on one knee. But we don’t get enough of that folksy wisdom that has made her a country icon. Surely Reba-nation on the net needs a little more nourishment than tweets about new concerts. (That won’t get you a show on TNT!) But we love her anyway.