1. They Hide Their Relationship Status
The beauty of Facebook is that we can instantly find out if a guy is available or off-limits. No 30-minute talk in a bar, trying to suss out if he has a girlfriend waiting for him at home. But if that info is kept a secret, we’re forced to look through and analyze his photos and wall posts to figure it out — which makes us feel like stalkers. Guys: If you’re single, do us both a favor and make that info public knowledge. And if you’re part of a twosome, own up to it. Especially when we’re one of the two.
2. They Block Their Photos
We can understand a guy wanting to keep certain people from viewing his pictures. But seeing as how we’re not his mom, boss, or pastor, it bugs us when we can’t see a dude’s photos. Here’s the thing: We always imagine the worst. So when we’re kept in the dark and can’t click through a guy’s albums, we imagine he’s blowing lines, hooking up with two girls at once, or running around naked at a party. Unfair, but true. He’s not saving his reputation by blocking his photos. In fact, not being able to click on them makes us think a little less of him.
3. They Ask Us Out…in Front of All Our Friends
Next time a guy gets tempted to leave us a wall post that reads, “Let me know if you want to hang out sometime,” he should imagine standing up in front of a room full of our family, friends, ex-boyfriends, and coworkers and then asking us out. Because that’s essentially what he’s doing. We don’t want all 889 of our friends to be a part of the courting. Oh and P.S., we’d appreciate a little more effort. You know, maybe an old-fashioned e-mail or text like we see in those historic romantic comedies.
4. They Detag Themselves in Our Photos
This is the online equivalent of a guy pretending he’s just asking for directions when his friends catch him talking to us. There is something strangely offensive about scrolling through your recently uploaded albums and discovering that a guy you tagged has detagged himself. If a photo of the BBQ he ate last Saturday is profile-worthy, we can’t help but wonder why the nice shots with us get shunned.
5. They Let Their Stupidity Show
What is it about Facebook that makes even cool, down-to-earth guys post quotes like “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog,” write status updates that read, “Matt is giving out free mammograms,” and upload shirtless photos of themselves with wannabe-model gazes that they obviously took in the bathroom mirror? Maybe they think it’s funny or impressive, but the behavior only makes us roll our eyes.