Tank’s Baby Mama Makes Us Ponder the Drama

BV Reports: Who needs trashy daytime talk shows? According to the gossip blogs, R&B singer Tank doesn’t. He opted to keep it 2009 style and have a public war of words with the mother of his son on Twitter instead. It was a well-thought out move, right up there with invading Iraq. To put it differently, this is the equivalent of the bird smacking into a plate-glass building; it’s both humorous and head scratching. Why is a grown man on Twitter typing the following to the mother of his child (according to mediatakeout.com):

“Stop hiding who you are. Tell everybody you’re my baby mama in Charlotte and you took (me) to court cause you didn’t like my offer and the courts gave you less and you’re very mad at me. So you send horrible emails and tweets about me when you should be somewhere trying to get a job. You’re the kind of woman that gives baby mama a bad name.”

(and as an encore)

“I was very drunk that night! my son wasn’t a mistake though so I’ll take full responsibility!!”

If the court case particulars didn’t do it, certainly the “I was very drunk that night” disclaimer made you wince with disbelief. But at least he’s taking “full responsibility,” as I’m sure the child in question is totally cool with daddy splattering the drunken circumstances of his conception all over the Internet. Most men, I’d imagine, need some sort of Freedom of Information Act request or a subpoena to come off the salacious details. Nothing says responsibility better than Cognac confessions that spill family business into the public domain.

Listen, I have a Twitter account. The mother of my teenage son doesn’t. Life is simpler this way. If she had an account, chances are, the father of her teenage son wouldn’t. Never shall the twain meet online. The offline experience was sufficient.

Even if it was in response to reckless online comments made by the mother, it’s never a good idea, especially for an aspiring artist, to publicly unload in this type of manner. Damn, why not take center stage, tap the mic to make sure it’s on and start the show with “I hate all the baby mamas out there” right before launching into the catalog of songs that are overstuffed with sophomoric lyrics about being a sensitive man.

And more important than the abuse of Twitter is the tired tag lines of “baby mama” as well as “baby daddy.” Those catchwords, along with the catchphrases “baby mama drama” or “my baby daddy’s caddy” just seem so, I don’t know, so 2004 to me. It was comical and convenient at one point to use the language that spawned cinematic classics like ‘My Baby’s Daddy,’ for which I’m still miffed at at the Academy for not nominating.

Humor and Hollywood snobbery aside, it’s time we put an end to the use of “baby mamas” and “baby daddies.” What the hell is wrong with saying “my child’s father” or “my baby’s mother”? If the ethnically ambiguous henpecked dude from ‘Jon & Kate Plus Eight (Equals Hate)’ can refer to his former ball buster of a wife as “the mother of his children” and she refer to him as the douche bag “dad of my children” then there is hope for everyone.

Let me bottom line this. Twitter, like Facebook, is for sharing news and for posting very forgettable tidbits about your life and thoughts. It’s not a place to announce “@babymama I’m NOT the father of your child”. There is an appropriate time and place for everything like court or The Maury Povich Show. Have respect for the other parent, regardless of circumstances, and have some respect for yourself.

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