I’ve always believed that porn can spice up a lackluster relationship, but I’ve also been judgmental of the girls who pose. So when I received a call from a recruiter, asking if I wanted to be an editor for a popular porn magazine, I was surprised…and conflicted. It was a big name, and I was curious what the experience would be like. However, I had concerns. Did I agree with the concept of porn enough to work there? Was it a bad career move? Despite these worries, I hoped that I could give readers some fresh perspective. Plus, it was a nice title and pay jump. So after four years in the world of fashion and beauty magazines, I decided to go for it.
Photo Fallacies
I quickly learned how different my new job would be. Instead of researching the merits of the newest night cream, I had to labor over layouts of girls with their legs spread open, trying to write sexy, fictional stories to accompany the photos. I also discovered that seeing is not always believing. We retouched these photos—a lot. In the art department, I’d see layouts with notes on the page: “Reduce thighs”; “Minimize labia”; “Enlarge breasts.” It was comforting to know that it wasn’t real, though disappointing that the quirks that make a woman unique were changed to this uniform idea of what’s sexy.
Model Misbehavior
The majority of the girls who posed for the magazine were between 18 and 26. They were strippers, porn stars, occasionally even a hot girl pulled off the street—all recruited by women staffers so that they’d feel more comfortable. The same models would reappear in the magazine month after month, and when they’d drop by the office, all work would come to a screeching halt. They would sign autographs and pose for photos (sometimes topless!) with the male staff. The most shocking thing was when a model strode up to my desk and asked me if I thought her labia looked lopsided. Before I could say a word, she had pulled down her skirt and underwear and exposed herself. The girls were friendly—at least to me. But there was a lot of tension and competition among the models. Snide comments about other girls’ plastic surgeries were rampant. There was so much pressure to be perfect, one model had had 14 surgeries—even her toes were straightened out!
The Real Deal
Every month, I had to interview the centerfold for a Q&A. I asked them about their hometowns, interests, and favorite sex positions. But I really wanted to ask “Why are you doing this?” “What do your parents think?” “Don’t you want something more for yourself?” I wondered if they really got off on their “power over men.” I received an answer while chatting with one centerfold. “Some girls do it to get validation they never got growing up,” she said. “Others do it to express their confidence. Having guys salivate over you is flattering. And if you make it, you’re a star.” But stories from photographers told a harsher reality. Many models would be high or drunk at photo shoots. One male photo editor told me how depressed he was after his first girl-on- girl shoot because the models seemed so insecure when the cameras were off. But once the film started rolling, they’d turn on the “porn-star charm.”
Occupational Hazards
One part of my job that remained a struggle was writing the text to accompany the photos. It had to tell a story, usually of two naked women engaged in sex. Since I am straight, I didn’t know where to begin. Then there were the effects of being surrounded by porn all day. One female staffer told me that she got turned on at work. I wasn’t immune either. I thought I’d get used to the visual stimulation, but I never did. In fact, my sex drive soared. People’s reactions to my job were varied. Some women were fascinated; some were disgusted. Men, no surprise, were very interested and would inevitably ask me out. I found it amusing that they assumed I embodied the sexiness of the magazine. After working there for about a year though, I quit. I was tired of being in a seedy, sex-saturated environment. And any influence I thought I had was as artificial as the pictures we published. I wish I had learned a positive lesson that disproved my previous judgments about the women who pose for these magazines, but I still think that they aren’t moving in a successful direction. They say that if they can make a good living while having fun, even if it’s short-lived, it’s worth it. To me, it wasn’t.
Source: Cosmopolitan